Playing To Win

Guest post from Alex Ranieri, Mindset Coach at RDM. Alex is a master at getting your head in the game of life. We thought you might enjoy some of his words of wisdom.

G’day, Al here!

I laughed when I typed the above, can it get anymore Aussie. Oh how we love shortening and abbreviating everything. I’d love to introduce myself as the latest member of the Chief family.

My name is Alex Ranieri, I’m a husband to my beautiful wife, father to 3 incredible children under 5 (yes, sleep is a fantasy long passed), Entrepreneur and Founder of Real Dad Movement.

I used to be overweight, obese, bullied with depression before rising up as a professional athlete in Rugby league and also CrossFit over a 15 year journey.

Nine operations and reconstructions tearing my body in half through Rugby League shattered my career but the love for new heights and growing, mentally and physically was nurtured through CrossFit and competing Internationally at Regional events for 3 years.

Running gyms for nearly 10 years and now serving fathers all over the country, life hasn’t come without adversity and breakdowns. Crazy isn’t it, to rattle off some horrific and glorious life experiences in a mere few sentences.

But my point as a Mindset Coach is not to talk about myself or how good or bad I am, it’s about the skillsets developed over many years with thousands of clients that helps me help others re-position themselves with the right perspective so they can win.

But what does winning look like? What does success mean? And how do we measure this?

It simply cannot be external measures of security, material goods or social acceptance to validate our position in the world, self-worth or who we are. This a house of cards approach where we as humans are vulnerable to resting our entire identity on something outside of ourselves, instead of looking WITHIN where it really matters.

Perception. Creates. Reality.

A saying I love using, but this is only the start. Perception ignites an internal reality from which we can draw the first step towards the identity we choose, to then explore, expand and experience who that really is in the outside world.

It creates opportunity. It helps us get out of our own way. It helps us from “tall poppy-ing” ourselves or self-sabotaging. It initiates change, which can become your evolution.

Which is why I’ll invite you to open your mind and heart for a minute.

Where people go wrong is not understanding that the game changes.

There have been many times I’ve been caught out playing the wrong game, and this burned me.

It affected my marriage, my business, my body, and my mental health.

As life changes through different phases of our life, we must adapt to the rules that have changed as well. This includes investing in ourselves, continuing to develop resilience, persistence, leadership through action and evolution so we have the steel and frame to handle the adversities life will continue to throw at us.

“That all sounds well and true Al, but HOW?”

Fair point.

Let us start by building the foundation and framework to do this.

The Most Important Thing

We start by channelling our focus on the Most Important Thing (MIT) in your life, in 3 areas that make your life:

1. Family.
2. Self.
3. Service.

These are called the Circles of Significance. What ALL human beings desire in life is significance. But there are different types of Significance. 

The value you offer to your family and loved ones.

The value you offer the world and communities through the service you provide.

The value and self-love you offer and give, to you.

When you strip back the distractions, interruptions, and chaos of life we all experience in a modern tech driven world – the answer is always simple and always close to your heart.

What is the MIT for your Family this month, this week, and today?

What is the MIT for your Service (business owner, employee, or volunteer) this month, this week, and today?

What is the MIT for your Self this month, this week, and today?

Sometimes we do not have the answer, and that is ok.

Which means sometimes the Most Important Thing is finding out what the Most Important Thing is!

How to get started today

Give yourself 30 minutes today, right now if you can.

Slow down the world, stop, be present. Use a pen and paper, this will slow down your mind, it must, your hand can’t keep up with the 60,000 to 90,000 thoughts a day we have!

Draw 3 large circles or sections – Family, Self, Service

Ask yourself these questions, and then answer them in each circle:

“How do I want to FEEL in this area of my life in 1 months’ time?”

“What OUTCOMES would need to be true for those feelings to be real?”

“What ACTIONS do I need to take to achieve those outcomes to have those feelings be true?”

“What is my Most Important Thing this week in each area that will move me towards what it is I desire?”

Focus is a powerful thing, channel your focus towards finding your pathway to winning.

Find the game you’re in.

Dial in your Circles of Significance.

Get clarity around your MIT’s.

Take Action immediately.

Rinse and repeat to start heading in the direction you truly desire, with meaning and purpose that really matters.

I promise you, you’ll start winning.

And over the long haul, you’ll win big