Guest post from Alex Ranieri, Mindset Coach at RDM. Alex is a master at getting your head in the game of life. We thought you might enjoy some of his words of wisdom.
“I call it how it is Al. I call a spade, a spade.”
What always enters my head whenever I hear that, contrary to their meaning behind the words, is “are you talking about a shovel or the symbol on a deck of cards?”
Here is the interesting part about life in all its contradictions. Many parts of life are binary, black and white, yes or no. And so many others are a pyroclastic cloud, exploding with volcanic matter, gas, smoke at rates where no one can see anything to interpret and make a solid “universal” truth.
You think life is black and white here, more of an opinion there, yes or no here, subjective truth there, whilst forgetting that all of that is coming from one thing - you!
Your position in this world, your reality, your facts, your feelings, black being charcoal, charcoal being black, hot being warm, warm being hot, all comes down to the universal truth that your internal and external realities are 2 sides of the same coin, they are NOT separate.
Our upbringing, conditioning, and sensory perceptions that, as animals, makes us human to construct meaning in the world through what you experience appears to have a complete external world existing that we are simply a small part of.
BUT, the processing of every single event outside of ourselves happens from and because of what’s within, hence the “dichotomy of life”.
You think everything outside you is outside you (how would you even know where your brain is supposed to be when looking in the mirror at your head, without whatever it is inside you telling your eyeballs that THAT is where it is...), yet it starts inside your consciousness being present to observe and engage everything that is happening to and around you.
Stay with me here, Quantum Mechanics and two men who have completely changed my life - Bruce Lipton (The Biology Of Belief) and Robert Lanza (Biocentrism) provide incredible insights into not only the consciousness of our cells at perceiving and changing according to the environment, but the creation at the centre of driving this change which is YOU as a conscious being.
I am not by any means suggesting you are the only one in this world (solipsism) but this IS your life being lived through YOUR eyes that observe and perceive the rhythms and cycles of life itself.
Ever heard the old “if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” quote? Apart from the pure mechanics of not having the inner workings of an ear drum present meaning sound doesn’t exist, the better question to ask is “what tree?”
See, if your consciousness isn’t present in Africa to see this tree and you’re in the office in Australia, regardless of whether a tree exists to others over there, A) is it part of your construct of reality? And B) Does it even matter?
As someone making their way in the world, it’s critical that we understand the dichotomy of life itself is more empowering than people think. You are not a small insignificant spec with billions of light years and galaxies and planets and all the other things that essentially don’t mean anything to you or I, as much as I love astronomy. You are life itself!
Without you consciously present to flick through a magazine looking at the constellations or looking up at the night sky, those stars don’t even exist - in your reality. They may exist in others, but are you living other people's realities or your own?
I know this may seem like a philosophical approach but there is hard science behind this.
Most notably the double slit theory that makes “observation” to particle waves remaining as a state of probability or collapsing into hard truth the difference which then ties into one of the most powerful things you can ever realise. It all starts and ends with you.
This is a foundation of truth, your truth, THE truth that sets the stage on understanding how much control and influence you can have. NOT by participating in an external superficial world forfeiting free will and critical thinking to be a passenger in life, but to actually create the world you desire to live in.
Do realities overlap? Of course. Ours is right now, and even if I never meet you with a firm handshake looking you in the eye, there is a passage of history and energetic exchange happening between us right now.
The closer your environment is to all that you love and care about (family, friends etc.) the more overlap and reciprocal influence there is.
Meaning? You can lead and create a ripple effect of leadership to those you love and care about through your actions - creating an environment, a world, together.
One of the most frustrating things for all of us is when the internal and external realities do not align. Nothing feels more distant, more separate, more isolated or alone when we have feelings that build us up then fleet OR we participate in a bounce between the past (pleasure or pain) and the future (fear or fantasy).
This comes at the cost of missing out on the one place where we can align both realities and gain stability and freedom back - the now.
So what happens without this alignment? We reinforce the bad habit, we try to “dig our way out” by keeping busy and producing in the black and white areas of life - work, money, running the kids around, small talk with the hubby/wife, zombie mode in front of the TV, alcohol to numb the pain - lacking presence or depth to create connection or anything meaningful.
That then gets flipped by the moments of feelings that come in to shore up a narrative of how we are getting the short end of the stick, life is unfair, you’re unappreciated, unloved, lacking self esteem or confidence, buried with feeling lethargic and spiralling into a whirlwind of bitterness, resentment, anger, even sorrow for life passing by and the “good times” now dead feeling like a lifetime ago.
It’s like 2 different worlds - your internal reality and external reality. Your feelings are the security blanket one minute, the next minute coiled up like a snake, wet, whipping your backside.
You’ve heard the saying a million times I’m sure - “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”
We owe it to ourselves to make a more relevant definition to steer our life AWAY from a very common trap: “Insanity is when there is a chronic lack of alignment between your internal and external reality.”
You are caught in the void, the chasm in-between, falling further with no foundation or stability to establish a “true position” to then begin charting your “true north”.
I’ve seen this destroy many minds before it does bodies. And just like the body and mind are 2 sides of the same coin, so are the inner and outer worlds you live in. The second you connect those two to the common denominator (you) becomes the moment you get your power back. Control back. The ability to seize the “now” again and take actions towards better future “nows” that are just around the corner.
The universal truth I see today which rips throughout the world is a lack of self... love, worth, respect, belief, confidence, esteem, pick one... pick all.
This will ALWAYS remain true in your life if you live in fantasyland with only feelings to steer an illusion that comes crashing down when the facts come steamrolling in. Just as much as a cold and heartless person who lives the cyborgs' life of facts alone which lacks meaning or purpose to anyone or anything. Internal. External. You need both. You MUST align both.
The point of this opener is to LAY the foundations that we are going to be building on. Because let me ask you something: WHO are you bringing to your relationship? WHO are you bringing to your loved ones? WHO are you bringing to the table of life? All the hats you wear, don’t forget whose head they go on.
Laying the foundations begins the process of using stability to build the base and turn you into a high rise with more control and certainty than you’ve ever felt or had. Otherwise something will come in and collapse the building if the foundations and process isn’t rock solid.
This is where it starts, by understanding that you are life itself. Reading these words, looking at your shirt, picking up a glass with liquid in it etc. is all connected to you. You are the most important thing in your life, which means when you invest in this, starting with the mindset and perspective of that true leader that’s deep inside you wanting to come out and play, everything you love and care about get’s an upgrade too.
And this all begins with getting clear on the facts of where you are RIGHT NOW, aligning with where you want TO GO, immersing yourself in the right environment to keep you on the path and taking action to head in that direction! It is the greatest way to connect your inner and outer world, and leads to high levels of fulfilment, reward and success…